Cruel Life #9

So I heard that being confident can get you a girlfriend. I do not know if I should believe that. In a way, I do not want to because hopes can bring you down too.
C: You do not even know what you are saying. You should not focus on that. Is this about that one soccer girl? Do you even still like her?
Me: I do not know.
C: You do not even talk to her. How can you like her? Focus on what ever is going on right now. I heard you are moving to a different place. What is up with that?
Me: It is just complicated...



Enrichment

Now this was a crazy schedule. Period four. It is the class that we all have in the middle of the school day. It is usually enrichment, but It felt like torture to me. It was not the classes, it was not the teachers. It was the constant movement of the class. There are just so many enrichment classes out there. At the beginning of the school year I ended up with a teacher that thought History.I was not sure it it was enrichment, or intervention. I did not want intervention because I already felt like a smart kid. There was a lot of students in there so it was a little crazy. The teacher gave us a syllabus, and then mentioned that we had to write an essay about some guy that discovered the north pole. This is enrichment? It was probably intervention, but still, essays are crazy. I expected grammar or something. I was in there for a week. The essay was due that week, and I had not even started. As I was thinking about it, some random lady comes in our classroom, and pulls out a few students including me. She informed us that a new class was made for a few students. I was then transferred to the other teacher's class. At least I did not have to do that essay anymore.


English Measuring Up

The next day, I showed up at the other teacher's room. She seemed nice. I realized it was another intervention room. I still was not happy. She was an English teacher, and she was Latina straight out. I had never really seen that before. Anyway, she made us do some book work from the "Measuring Up" work book. It was not so bad because she made us work in groups often. It made the procedure a little more fun. I met my friend Jesus that way. We became friends because of that class. We would always talk about a social media page that we wanted to invent. We wanted to call it "Your Space" because we thought Myspace and Facbook were too lame. We never made it. Anyway, I realized that Jesus was in my algebra class. We both realized that we were suppose to be taking intervention classes for math because we were missing seventh grade math since we had algebra. Classmates with algebra told us this, but w ended up being switched anyway. we were only in the English class for like 3 weeks, until we were pulled out. The councilor sent us to some science teacher who was doing intervention for math. Jesus and I were the only seventh graders in her class. All the others were eighth grade magnet students. We were only in there for like two days. Jesus and I did not like our switch because we had to eat with the sixth graders. This was due to the fact that the teacher's class was in the sixth grade building. This made us both such loners during lunch. It was depressing having to eat without our friends, but each other. Anyway, after the two days, a math teacher next door came in and decided to take us in. She had intervention on what we had to learn. Again, we were tho only seventh graders. Sh was a good teacher. her work was not really hard, but we were still stuck in first lunch.

Seventh Grade Math

It was until my algebra teacher decided to take us in. his class was full, but he wanted to teach his own students. Jesus and I were pretty happy because he had his classroom in the seventh grade building. this meant friends back. Jesus and I became close friends after that whole epidemic. The only sad part was that i had no seat to sit on. i ended up sitting down at the corner of the classroom using one of the computer desks. I sat there for the rest of the year. It was not fun, but it was not as bad either. I had my own personal space. Having my algebra teacher again meant having my algebra teacher twice, but it was worth it because he was a hell of a teacher. The hell of changing classes was over. It was crowded, but at least the teacher felt satisfied. I was not too satisfied though. It was not his class. It was the one after. I remembered that It was scared to go into her class every day.More hell. She took away most of my school fun that year. It all started...

In Memory Of - Ayon, Mr. White, Mrs. Jimenez-Gonzalez, Ms. Orosco, And Ms. Gutierrez

The Great Garbage Patch

I noticed that these garbage patches are most common in oceans. In my eyes, it looks like a really bad idea to have. It is harming wild life at the sea because marine animals often mistake garbage as food. This can eventually kill these poor animals slowly. It commonly consists of plastic bags, and other dumped chemicals which harm an Innocent animal. These garbage patches should always be controlled at all times because you may never know where it will end up at. It may not just be harmful for wild life, but it can be harmful to us as well. It is harmful mostly because of the chemicals that trash contains.

Cruel Life #8

There is this girl I like. She plays soccer. I think she is really good. The thing is, I do not talk to her because, I do not know how. It is stressing me out a little.
C: You should totally talk to her.
Me: But, I hardly even know her. I am bad with women.
C: Women? You are funny!
Me: Okay. I get it. It is just that, I do not know how to give her a conversation that... will not be awkward.
C: Go for it.
Me: But how? I do not know how to start conversation with wom... girls.
C: Be confident. It always works.


Fitness

As the bell rang, I happily went to the locker rooms. My next class was Physical Education, or PE. Period three was like the most exiting that year. So many Events. First, we had a PE teacher that most people ignored and did not listen to. I felt bad for him because no one seemed to respect him. I respected him, as I respected other teachers. One day, he was just gone. He was only with us for like three weeks. It was strange because all we had a sub after sub after sub. The next week, we had heard that he had retired. Yeah right! For all most of my friends and I knew, That guy was fired. Why? It was probably because he could not control his students. They were always wild, did not listen to him, and always threw basketballs to his head. I felt sorry for him. In the end, we ended up with many subs, but they were all cool.


P.E.

That year, I decided to start my running experiences. I ran laps like crazy. I always finished first, and always went for extra credit. It was a fun experience. After so many substitutions, we ended up with a permanent sub. He was a pretty good sub. He gave us really good stretches, and he treated us the way PE teachers are suppose to treat their students. Childish. He was one of the best teachers I had. I learned a lot about him. He did water polo, and graduated from CSUN University. Such a great guy. After a while, I thought he was our permanent teacher, but then he told me that he was just a sub, and that he was not going to teach next year. It made me feel sad because I really thought he should have kept going. He admired my good running because I was good at it. Some people thought that I was on steroids or something. They were crazy. Well, I think they were jealous because I was the only crazy one running and getting the A's. I met so many people that year. Most, did not even talk to me. I was not popular. I was a loner! It made me think that I was sad, so I ran to relieve stress. I did not care though. It was my fun period. We either played, or run. It was really fun.

Coach

I found out what it was like to be on a strange PE class, where the teacher is fired, The sub becomes your teacher, and actually makes the class more fun than the other popular PE class. there was always competition in between. I felt like we were better either way. I always felt motivated and happy to go to that class, because it relieved me from academical work in school. Sometimes, I dedicated myself to run extra every day, but it made my knee hurt for while. I eventually sucked it up and I became a good runner because of that class. I actually want to say that I am glad that my teacher was fired. It sounds bad, but I found My peace and motivation that way. It was worth it. All before the next class...

In Memory Of - Mr. Gomez

Sodium Laureth Sulfate

I personally do not feel comfortable knowing about Sodium Laureth Sulfate on our daily products because of some dangers we can be facing. I understand it is a chemical that smooths your hair and makes it shiny, but it can also be irritant to your skin and hair follicles. I found out that it can be a toxic chemical if it is accidentally swallowed. I feel somewhat worried about that because sometimes children get a hold of these chemicals, and they can get really sick. I guess that the usage of this products can really damage your skin over time, and it sounds like something that I do not want. I understand that this chemical is not always dangerous, but there is a certain amount of these chemicals that our body can not support. I now consider soap, shampoo, and other cleaning chemicals when  I Try to stay clean around the house.

Cruel Life #7

I did not know running was a sport. Turns out, It is really hard work. I felt as if I were training more than any other sport. It is said that running makes you mentally tough.
C: It does.
Me: How would you know?
C: Experience. Just Follow My Word.
Me: So, am I going to be mentally tough?
C: You should.
Me: I can be tough.
C: Not with the attitude that you have.
Me: I do not have an attitude!
C: Dude, chill. Please. Let us change the subject. I know that there are other things that stress you out too.
Me: Well...




G.R.A.P.E.S

She was a female teacher. She was kind of cool. Well, at the beginning of the year she was. I realized she was not as bad. I have to admit, that she was a good teacher. History. One of my most hated classes of all time. I was always horrible at it because of my bad memory. Incredibly, she made sure we learned what ever she taught us. It was because of all the posters and drawings she made us do. I liked to draw. It was one of my favorite habits. She taught us from Islamic history, to American History. It also involved England and grease with some legal contracts in between. The material was fun. Unfortunately, I forgot about everything by the time I got to the eighth grade for the CST. Anyway, her tests were not as difficult, unless you did not study. Her tests required a lot of studying. Without studying, there was no passing the test. She also made us do current events and then due every Friday. Sometimes, I struggled with those things because they had to be events from out of this country. I kind of disliked her for that, but you can not just hate a teacher for doing their job right. She was proud to have us in an Honors class. May be that is why work was so stressful. She enjoyed it. I an guessing that was the reason why many of my classmates disliked her. Some of them did not even do their current events or homework. People disliked ker because she lowered their grades.


7th Grade History

I thought the work that she gave us was worth it. At least now I do because back then, It felt like a hell. There was only some essay that she made us do as a project. It was during winter break. There went my vacation. Actually, I had no vacation. My house was my only vacation. As we came back to school, I made sure my essay looked perfect. Wrong! She took off several points off for my bad grammar, and the absence of my citations. I realized, she was strict, but she was actually nice looking. By that, I obviously mean that she was nice. She was nicer towards the end of the year. She let us have fun right after the CST and then she put "National Treasure" on the television screen. It was a good movie. Not many people paid much attention, but I sat in the front row of the screen because I was actually interested. History was a hell of a class. All the learning, all the memorizing, and all the GRAPES, which consisted of: Geography, Religion, Achievements, Political system, Economics, and Social Structures, was all worth the studying. Back then, I was smaller than I am now, so it all felt tough. That was just me though. Anyway, all of the hard studying felt worth it. Luckily, my break was the next class. It was the most fun class that I had. It was also my stress reliever. You will not believe the crazy things that happened that year...

In Memory Of - Mrs. Melton

Cruel Life #6

I have to be a champion. I want to be a champion, but it is just too difficult.
C: Everything is difficult my dear friend.
Me: I am not your friend!
C: Chill dude! learn to think positive. Now. I heard you want to be a champ.
Me: I do.
C: Well, why do you not do it?
Me: Because I can not do it!
C: What?
Me: It is hard work.
C: So? That would not stop me.
Me: That is you.
C: We are the same. You can be better than me if you actually try, but you keep giving up.
Me: Well then what do I do?
C: You practice.
Me: Running?
C: You have a lot to learn kiddo.



Algebra 1 In Seventh Grade

Period one was in the second floor. I saw Miguel, and I was happy because we had the same class. I had Algebra 1. The math course that was difficult for everyone to get in. Miguel and I were exited. The teacher came a little late, and told us to stop right in front of the classroom door. He asked for our names, and then he gave us a seat number. It was scary. He looked like he had just killed a man, or like he wanted to kill one. he was tall and his eyes looked drowsy. As we all sat down with random people, he took off his jacket, and put it on his chair. he was wearing a nice shirt with a tie and everything. He looked all professional. His rules were strict. We had to be seated by the bell and we could not move at all. Even if we needed a bathroom break, or sharpen our pencil. We had to bring our own sharpener for that. Everyone looked scared because he wanted silence and no interruptions. everyone must have obeyed because he was so scary looking. He had some sort of high technological computer that he could write on the screen with. It was like a magic computer. He wanted no one near it though. His class was always fast, but after a while, it was not as bad. He gave us partners, and let us work together whenever he would say so. I was learning fast with his class. Then I realized that he was a really good teacher. At times, he yelled for us being noisy, and he would make us do standards during lunch. He was such a great teacher because he kept us focused throughout the year. Only like one or two people failed his class. It became easy, and easy to comprehend. So many people hated him for being so strict and not fun at all. I later realized that he was just doing his job. I ended up liking his teaching because I actually understood it. Towards the end of the year, he made these fun math contests that made us like him. It was not the competitions. It was the candy that he would give us when ever our group got an answer correct. He gave out the best candy. After getting used to his class, I realized That it was a fun class. After so much learning hell, it felt worth it. It made me doubt of period two. It was something that proved period two so boring, and hardly understood. Great. More hell to worry about...

In Memory Of - Mr. Benn

Cruel Life #5

I need time. It is something I never get in school. Sometimes I do, but that is not what I mean. It is worse at home.
C: What is this about?
Me: I do not know. I feel like there is a lot of things I have to do, but I can not keep up!
C: Do you feel under pressure?
Me: May be.
C: What did you do today?
Me: I went to school today.
C: No duh! What did you do there?
Me: Well, I do not like my Humanities teacher. She does not give us much work, but I feel like I do not learn. I have a lot to study for Geometry because the CST is coming up. I ca not forget about Biology because I want to be in the AP class next year. I recently started English 101 and I want to do good on that too.
C: Only if you actually try.
Me: I do try!
C: Yeah, I know, but be constant. now where is your heaviest stress?
Me: Running

Seventh Grade...

I was scared. seventh grade. I had so many nightmares about attending middle school, but seventh grade was not such a bad experience. I had Miguel, and Chris. Unfortunately, Chris joined leadership, and I could not sit at his table for lunch anymore. After that, It became my table. I began making more friends. Hugo, and Freddy were now my friends because I now had classes with them. They were no problem because they sat with Miguel and I. My only problem, were the classes that I had. From periods one through seven. It was madness, but I survived. The thing was, I probably had more than just ten teachers. It all started at the beginning of seventh grade. Period 1 was a pain in the butt already,,,

Cruel Life #4

I thought may be I was happy being alone, and have no friends.
C: Yeah right!
Me: I like being alone, so, leave me alone.
C: Why should I? You rarely see me, and you want me to go away?
Me: I do not like you!
C: You are mean, but I am not going anywhere. So like, what are you really angry about?

Richard E. Byrd Middle School

He said I was lying. He could tell I spoke Spanish right away. I denied it. Obviously, I was not telling the truth. It was difficult. I did not know how to make friends. one day, I decided to follow the guy that guided me through my first classes in middle school. I wanted to be somewhere  to eat because I just hung out alone at a bench in the middle of the whole cafeteria and no body would notice. His name was Chris. He took me to his table, and that is where I met Miguel. "Hey, you are that new kid in my honors class. I asked if you spoke Spanish In English class remember?" No! I did not know him. I did not want to know him, but hey! This was my opportunity to make a friend. Achievement earned. Chris and Miguel are now my friends. I figured I could get help from them for school work. It was the best idea I had ever gotten. Miguel shared so many of his stories with me. I told him a lot about me. Apparently he was interested in me talking Spanish. I told him I was Mexican. At least I thought I was Mexican. He told me his parents were different. His mom was Salvadorian, and his dad was Mexican. He was a cool guy. Kinda chubby. He guided me through English and history class, while I helped him in science and Math. Suddenly, my grades for History and English rose. I have a C now. I am happy. My parents understood my learning situation, so they were happy too. Luckily, I was not bullied because no body cared. I was kinda chubby too. People were nice, but really noisy. I had media as an elective. Everyone in there was an honors student, but they were all noisy and kinda crazy. The teacher was strict as hell, but that made no difference. Now that I remember,  the teachers had the strangest names. Mr. Cinnamon, Mrs. Rose, Mrs. Charky. That was just sixth grade! Seventh and eighth has even stranger names in my perspective. As I made it half way through the year, I made a few more friends. Miguel was like the main one. He helped me a lot. I would usually call him every night because I constantly needed help with my homework. I was getting to the end of sixth grade. It was time to say good bye. My friends and classmates made their own little signature booklet to get every body's signatures. Miguel was the first one to sign mine. I used last year's booklet. I was happy . It brought me back memories of having so many friends, that paid not much attention to me. There was so much drama when  it came to the last day of school. Crying in every corner. Some people would just say "We are going to see each other next year anyway." Apparently not many understood the topic. I told Miguel that I would think about visiting them during the summer. Why? he helped me enough to get straight A's in my final report card! I did not realize this soon enough, but I figure it out. Miguel was not my friend. Miguel was my best friend, but People change. Everything changed, as I made it alive to seventh grade...

In Memory Of - My Best FUEEN!

Cruel Life #3

I am here, again. I do not really have a topic tonight.
C: So I realized you might need my help.
Me: Crap! I forgot you are here.
C: Suck it up. You  wine too much.
Me: Shut up!
C: Look. I am here because I know that you need me. You Have not needed me since New Year.
Me: Well how are you suppose to help me? Wait. I do not need help!
C: Yes you do. Trust me. Now, what is this all about?



Not Again

I was scared. Middle school. What is middle school like? I just came back from Michigan. The Wolverine State. I still do not know why it is known like that, but I sure know that its capital is Detroit. I was in Grand Rapids. I was visiting an aunt of mine. She is about to divorce. O well. Anyway, we had no home. It was the beginning of our life all over again in Los Angeles. I was scheduled to go to some school in Los Angeles. Bethune Middle School. I only went there for two days. I saw an old best friend of mine while I was there, but we only hung out for like, two days. I never saw him again. It was scary. I did not know anyone in there, and it was complicated having to go to more than one class. I was so scared of being late. It was not elementary at all. I knew some of those people, but yet, no body knew me. I was such a looser. The school was strict. I would ask myself, "Is this what jail is like?" What ever happened to recess? Nutrition? What is that? We do not play? What is P.E.? It took me a while to figure that one out. Those were the longest two days of my life. That was just the beginning. I remembered them being Thursday and Friday. Good. A Weekend.

Lockers?

My parents moved to the valley, so I had to assist school there. By Tuesday, I was already attending Byrd Middle School. I had barely applied on Monday. My parents denied all honors and all magnet classes. My parents did not want to apply pressure. By the third week, the councilor pulled me out just to compliment me on my previous grades. He bumped me up to honors. I did not feel honored. My grades declined slowly. It was the reason why my parents wanted to avoid those things. It was still horrible. I had no friends, and I had to start from the beginning. I guess I just focused on school, but it was difficult. English was my worst subject. Also, history. I failed those two like two or three times in a row. I honestly thought I was not going to make it. It was probably because my English was not as great as the others. English became my first language just last year. I was new to this. All of my teachers spoke English, and I felt things more difficult. I needed Help. Math and science was the only thing I was actually good at. It was horrible. It was, until some random kid asked, "You speak Spanish right?" I simply answered, "No" In such a Mexican paisa way. It was funny. That guy changed my life. You would not believe it. It all started with the simplest way...

Cruel Life #2

This is frustrating. I know the professor said that we were going to get used to doing it, but I do not like it already. I wanted to use English 101 as a chance to stay away from the Internet, but this whole blogging thing came up the first day of class. Great! Another reason to stay up at night. I Cant Really Afford That.
C: Quit yapping your trap. You wine about everything.
Me: It is You again.



Drawn From Google

I began to think what it will be like to have a girlfriend. I do not really have close friends since forever. Maybe this is my chance to feel close to someone again. A little voice in my head began to tell me, "Don't be STUPID!" I ran back as fast as I could. When I caught up to her, I said the magic words that only some girls like to hear from a specific guy. "Do you want to go out with me?" She smiled so happy and just nodded a yes. as the light turned green for her, she said bye and crossed the street. I too went back and crossed my street to go back home. I felt like the happiest boy in the world. That whole week, I just could not stop talking about her. I told most of my "so called friends" because i could not keep my mouth shut. By the end of that day, everyone knew about it. That Friday, before Winter break, I spend a whole week making her a poem in cursive, and a box with with the shape of a rose on top. I also bought her a bracelet. She had so many on her hand already, but i wanted to get her one anyway. I think she liked it. She gave me a peck on the cheek that day. My first foreign kiss in the cheek. It was worth it.I made it special specifically for her. I even drew her a picture. I thought about her a lot. I remember I saw her at Kmart on a Black Friday sale they had. I pretended not to notice her, but I did anyway. I remember that day. I slept at six thirty in the morning. It was now our Winter break. I asked my cousin to let me use her phone because I really wanted to communicate with her somehow. I texted her at least once a day. Yes I did not have a phone, and i still do not. I tried visiting her twice, but she was never home when I had the chance. When we came back to school, I was just waiting for Valentine's Day.


It Was On That Friday, Which Became Special

I wanted to do something special. I made her a really nice card, but I had no idea what to write in it. I got advice from my neighbor. She knew all of these corny things in Spanish. Anyway, I wrote what my neighbor told me. It was like love here, love there, and love everywhere. I went along with it because I actually really liked her by that time. I gave her the card, and a stuffed, soft dog. She was happy, but the days after, she was just acting strange. Valentine's Day was a Tuesday. After That, I did not see her as much any more. Then she tried to avoid me. On Friday, her friend told me that it was over. I had no reason whatsoever. Then, her friend told me that Stephany's close cousin had died, and that "She felt that she could not love again." I believed it, until Serena told me that Stephany cheated on me. Stephany said she liked me a lot. This was on the weekend. She said she was ready to take me back. I was relieved, until she already had a new boyfriend by Tuesday. I was shocked. Maybe because Serena, her "so called friend," told me that Stephany cheated on me. I did not want to believe it, but that rumor spread around. My reputation went down, and people began to think wrong of us two. After that, I did not really care if i had a girlfriend or not. I only relied on myself for company. I have been a loner for a while, but at least I still had the good academic standards. I remember asking her How many boyfriends she had. She told me she did not remember, but like about ten. That freaked me out because she was my first. Then I thought, "This is not going to last." I was sad the first day, you know, like a little girl, but then i was happy again the next day. I was glad she broke up with me. I realized that it takes your time away to be with someone. I did not have that time. After THAT happened, we said hi like, once in a while. We still do. She said she will never forget me. Lies. I know she did already. All I know is, she is single now. She had broken up with her old boyfriend to go out with me. She told me. She never hugged me again, even tho I still see her every day. I did my research. She told me that she went out with that other boy because he liked her. All she told me was, "I said yes to him because I didn't want to break his heart. I would not break anybody's heart." What she did not realize was, She broke MY heart. *

In Memory - SL<3

Cruel Life #1

So this is where it all began. I do not get it. It is late. What am I doing here? I should be sleeping, but instead, I am Here, Typing.
Well, even if i know where I am at, I got myself in here in the first place. Am I actually writing a blog? I do not even know what that is. Well, I guess I should not make my introduction too long today because i will have nothing to whine about tomorrow.

It all started back in 2011. Not so long ago. I am starting my school year. It was not until like the second week. I noticed her. Yes, this is one of those stories. I saw wavy hair. Funny. I met her in "Physical Education." I do not think I know what that is anymore. Her name is Stephany. She was the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my eyes. I talked to her once in a while, but She started talking to me first. I guess she wanted to know a little about me. The thing is, when i talked to her, she could barely hear me. Did she have small ears? Or do I just mumble? Anyway, As we ran for "P.E." she put her hand on my shoulder every time she gave her number. 21. Such a nice number for her. Ironically, She told me that she hated some store called "Forever 21" because "it is a store for sluts." I did not mean to repeat that. I am sorry, but that was what she told me. I kept telling her friend Serena how pretty I thought Stephany was. "I'll hook you up if you want." I freaked out and I said "NOO!" Awkward silence. she kept telling me things about her. She even said that she constantly talked about me too, that i should ask her out, and that we would make a "cute" couple. This was so strange. I never had a girlfriend before, and I was scared to start now. I told her that I was not going to ask Stephany out because. Simply because. I did not want to ruin our friendship. She thought it was cute the way I said it. Yeah right. I saw her every day anyway. Serena finally told me that Stephany finally admitted that she liked me. I did not understand. I am ugly. no one has ever liked me THAT way. What was I going to do? I did not know how to be a boyfriend! I guess i did notice after so many hugs that she gave me every day after school finished. I always gave her a hug because only she gave me a hug. No one else did. I think it started on the day of her birthday. I asked if i could sign her HUGE birthday card. she smiled, and she let me. Then, I gave her a birthday hug, and i said bye. I had a hug every day ever since. I think her birthday was somewhere in the end of September or early October. I do not remember, but what ever.


I Think I Like Her. Bored In Class. <3

 Finally. One Monday, after school finished, she walked up to me with her sister Jasmine next to her. This was the Monday before the week of Winter Break for our school. I was at the corner,about to cross the street. I was also waiting for that daily hug of mine. Her sister stayed behind. she told me "Serena said that you wanted to ask me out" She had the cutest smile on her face. I Felt stuck. I felt like I could not breathe. I told her, "She told you that?" "Yeah" She said. I Had no idea what to do, so i suddenly said, "Wait, Jasmine is your little sister?" She just smiled and said "Yeah. She is younger than me." Her smile was going to wipe out. "Oh." I Said. There was an Awkward silence. Then we said bye to each other. She walked the opposite direction with her sister as I crossed the street. I was thinking too hard. I felt bad for her. Suddenly, The most AMAZING thing happened...